|
Toan37
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Toan
Country: United States
Gender: Male
Interests: well my interests was this girl, she left,and for some reason it still is.
Expertise: fixing cars, tennis, basketball, bowling.
Occupation: BMW of Dallas
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/4/2003
|
|
| so the verdict has been made, i had fun this weekend in houston.. but shit it went sour haha.. as long as my nigga james had a good time...today couldnt concentrate during tennis... and lost all my matches horribly... no more undefeated doubles... sigh i got beat by some losers...i just felt like my head and emotions werent focused or in the game... so over all i had a bad weekend and a bad day today...i didnt fucken sleep last night and then i had to drive back to dallas for my tennis matches...this is gonna take some time... i gotta get focused again and start my training again... coach isnt gonna be happy if he found out i was smoking this weekend...shit i know he wasnt today when he saw my ass and i looked like shit and smelled like alchol haha...he looks at james and was like WTF haha...anyway i need and will get my shit straight...im just lost for a day or two and thats all i need...
| | |
| The semester is finally over. I have two exams left and they should be a breeze. I cant blieve i have to take 6 exams though but ehh, its all part of school. Calc totally raped me up the ass. And as for everything else, things are going good. Made a lot of new friends and play a lot of tennis. I feel like a kid again now that i am done working full time and resigning soon. Wow i cant beleive i have been working at BMW for 5 years now. Kinda makes me sad to leave but i got better things going on. Though now i feel like im worthless, staying at home or studying and not working to make a living anymore. Anyway i am a college student NOW and so lets start living the college life, Broke ASS... haha
| | |
| It all started with Mowing my lawn for the first time in centuries. I had always had people do my lawn until i realized it go to expensive. Well anyway it rained here the past couple of days and i couldnt do a damn thing about the lawn or even want to go out. So when i mowed my lawn there is this black square box on my lawn where you can control the water valves. I stepped on the black square lid and to my surprise i fell in and twisted my ankle slightly. sitting with my whole right leg in the box up to my knee was full of water inside the box. In pain, though i forgot really quickly i sat there and starting laughing ...so loud that my neighbor came out to see what the issue was. The whole thing brought back a rush of memories. Memories of when my ex-girlfriend had fallen in that exact same box and i laughed at her saying that that shit would never happen to a genius like me... and now look where im at hahahha. ( shit im still laughing now just thinking about it)
so much has happened since i had ended it with her the past year...good things and bad... i must say that i still love her but that we will probably never be together again and i have accepted that. But it took me along time to accept it on top of that realize that i have been hurting other girls along the way. i realized that i was hurting one girl when i kept thinking of only my ex and not her. This girl was 24, she had graduated had everything planned out, family person, loved kids, ready to commit at anytime or not commit depended on what i wanted. Very polite and family orientated on top of that she was vietnamese. she could speak, read and write..she knew her culture well and was also very americanized. What more could i ask for? but instead my ex ran across my mind daily and this girl tended to my needs daily and cared for me daily. in the end, i just ran her off like the other girls before her. i dont believe that she was the one but she was sure damn close. now we are just friends and just talk. but i think i like it better that way cuz then i wont hurt her. because of her i realized this and this is what changed my world around... " dont chase them, replace them..." i just sat to myself and thought how much of an idiot i was. this whole time i have been chasing my ex and not looking for the right person to replace her instead... And now im single, not feeling alone or anything but just single , the way i want it to be.. so now my and that girl that cared so much for me are just friends...
friends...what great people they are when they cheer u up and are always there for you. i got my guy friends that have been there for me through my whole life, and i appreciate them, no i want to say that i love them more than i would a brother... their families brought a thug-ass like me in and changed my life around...and they are still there for me...my best friends for life no matter what happens...wait i think i spoke to soon... i had one best friend... that was there for me, always through thick and thin... he was there when my ex had cheated on me, everyday he would call me and see how i was doing...we were so close that he spent that night at my house alot every summer...the summer that my ex cheated on me he kept me busy and hung out with me everyday...i miss him some times... but now our relationship as best friends was destroyed through the same girl that he had saved me from... i was in shock, when i found out what had happened between them when she was still with me..( i best leave out the details)...i was lost and confused and especially in denial... so then i decided to end it there... i mean a person can only take so much beating...right? i felt at the time that that was 5 years down the drain, 5 years of my life wasted with someone who i thought loved me...this all happened after i asked her to marry me and she said no. so i left it at that, hated my best friend and could not bare the thought of her at all with out a tear shedding.. so now she is in houston with him... but im not so sad.. he was my best friend for a reason, and i trust that he will take care of her like i did.. after all i realized that it wasnt a waste but a lesson well taught which took 5 years. i learned so much... life goes on and it took me a long time to figure that out.. days goes by and then weeks then months then years... i have so much to do and yet i am only half way done.. but my life only just started as i was saved from my ex through God... now all i see is a bright and successful future down my path, which things are turning out for me... so guys " dont chase them, replace their asses"
on a brighter note, who would have thought that i would get accepted into UTA, okay honestly i knew i was going too. well then, who would have thought that i would be on their tennis team, i sure didnt... luck is finally coming my way..so are the women but ehh i like the single life.. u save money, u do what u want, u look at who u want, and u come home when u want without being mad at.. so im getting this house out in arlington and thats where im gonna start my new life...or atleast i think i am..fortunately and unfortunately i am still gonna be working at BMW... i handed in my letter today to quit, and before i could leave my boss called me back in ..." where the hell do u think ur going Fonze?" believe me i was scared shitless...then he goes " what can i do to make u stay?" i was like WHAT?!?!?! i told me straight up i cant and that i am almost done with college and have to better myself...there is no way i can go to college full time and work full time again like i have been for the past 3 years...im just to worn out.. then i got up and said im sorry and turn around headed for the door...then he says" a raise, and do part time, i will work around ur schedule and make things work for u to stay.." i was like WTF?!?!? we dont even have a part time position, there is no such thing...and a raise? i just got one...and who gives more money to part timers ur suppose to take money back...then he caught my attention and i sat back down... we talked for 30 more minutes and he wouldnt stop asking me to stay... i was only at BMW for 4 years, shiet i dont even think i have seniority... so we came to a compromise and thats what i did, he is gonna work around my schedule followed by a raise...so umm i just have to say sorry to RAETHYON, and their intern-ship for 25 an hour..haha honestly i wasnt planning on working at all but shiet then i realized where am i gonna get money to pay for house and cars and insurence and especially gas...and i sure as hell cant take anymore girls out and i will probably start eating mi goi like every college student haha..now that i got a raise NEW TV!!!
Life has its ups and downs, but i realized that i just needed to stay strong..and depend on my friends because thats what they told me they were here for.. me! that is one thing that no one can take from me, my friends... im stronger now and especially more productive...i look at myself sometimes and realize that i am getting old, or just that i matured faster than most people... who knows ... but anyway back to the drawing board..and to finish my first project car cuz i wrecked that Ho haha, but the funny thing is i just finished my second project car, before my first one....the 240sx is up and running like a champ... and the tegi is just running like a chump, but ehh it looks good atleast haha
| | |
| I just had to get this out before i went to sleep... first off i want to say that all day i been thinking that we live in cold world. There is no trust and no love. You dont get anything unless you scratch someones back, and maybe they might scratch yours. People are full of deceptions. So in the end you cant trust anyone, not even your family sometimes, which is sad to say. And now for my monthly update: well as for this month i spent money like stupid. i dont want to give a specific number but i would say over 3Gs. I got rid of my bike which i kinda regret and kinda dont. im finally straightening out my life, and actually know what im gonna do. well good night
| | |
|
